A little bit about me…because how else does a blog begin? You’ve probably seen my professional bio and my teaching one and maybe even one that’s 100 words long. Perhaps you were even lucky enough to catch my little casual blurb that was up here for awhile…telling you that my favorite color is purple and that I love my husband and my pups. So, you could gather that I am a teacher and a performer and an all around passionate, creative human being constantly seeking out new things.
Here’s what you probably don’t know if you haven’t known me for years and are not a member of my closest circle:
For years, people poked and prodded me trying to determine what was wrong with me because the bridge of my nose is too wide and my feet are flat and my eyes are a strange (albeit quite beautiful eyelash flutter) color and I am decidedly shorter than my mom while my dad stands 6’2”. For years, people have commented ‘wow how is your voice so big?’ For years, people have asked me ‘You look exotic, what are you?’ For years, people have sought an explanation for the ways I look and the way that I sing. Here’s my answer: I’m biracial. I am a white facing bi-racial person, with my dad’s eyes and my moms height. My skin color is unique, it doesn’t carry the beautiful pale pink of my mother or the light brown tinged with yellow undertones of my dad. I didn’t actually realize this until a couple weeks ago, standing next to my sister-in-law, she is the palest of porcelain and my skin is impossible to describe. White people often ask ‘what are you?’ black people often comment ‘you must be mixed, I hope my baby grows up like you.’ It’s only in recent years that I’ve recognized the implications of that statement…perhaps they want their baby to grow up white-facing so they can somehow escape what it means to be brown/black in this country…what it means to be different.
For years, I have asked myself…how do I present this? How do I insert two heritages that are vastly different into one? I have long been drawn to African drumming and call and response songs and the dances. I have also always loved classical western music…which tends to be predominantly white. For years, I have tried to make my voice fit into the status quo of the classical world at the moment. It is only now that I have an opportunity to sing music with texts by Langston Hughes and by African American composers that I realize I was trying to erase what makes me unique, as unique as my skin that I mentioned before. My cords are thick, my face is wide, my cheek bones are high. These are all from my black side. They make audition panels either weep (yes this has happened) or they make them question.
So. Why here? Why now? What am I writing about?
I hope to bring shed a little more light on what it looks like to be bi-racial. I hope to bring you some music that isn’t performed a lot. I hope to give you a little insight into the workings of my brain when deciding on pieces. But, mostly I’m doing this for me. Remember that creative and passionate soul I mentioned? Well I’m passionate about a lot: music, writing, politics, social justice, fashion and on and on. So, journey with me as we weave this together.